A Survivor's Journey to Life

Nika, I don't think I'll ever be 'at peace' with what is happening. It's not fair, it's not right to you. Or me. How to even make sense of it? It doesn't make sense.  In a way, I feel I am making some kind of peace with what I can't control. I'll never accept it, it'll never be ok. It's not real 'peace'. Maybe 'making peace with it' is not the way to put it. Maybe that's a phrase that just doesn't work. Because it often does imply acceptance. And I don't. I can't. I won't. I will always stand for change. I will always stand for what is best. I will never stop changing myself, becoming better. Becoming the best version of myself possible. Stop blaming myself for the mess of the world.  I feel like a failure because I don't know what you are feeling. I feel like I don't know how to help you or that I can't help how you need because I don't know exactly what you're experiencing. But it'...

I'm going through a lot right now, being in the process of moving, not quite finished, nowhere near settled in. Body aching tremendously from the physical demands of constantly moving, moving things, going, going, going. And it's an overnight visit. It still hurts and I don't think it ever won't. Not knowing what is happening for her. I have to remind myself there was no other way. I could not have stayed. He would never in a million years have 'worked things out amicably' as he has claimed. I've had enough of his gaslighting. When you lie that much it doesn't matter if you tell the truth. There's no way to risk believing you. You make it dangerous to trust and believe you. There was no way I could have stayed, having lost my job, being so burnt out in every way. Barely getting through the day. Nika would have no real joy. She would have a burnt out badly treated mother struggling to care for her, and a manipulative, controlling and abusive father. U...