Day 53

Nika, if I'm still around if/when you have a child, and if I'm capable, I will do everything I can to support YOU to support YOUR BABY, to have the BEST possible. Whatever it is that is needed. Hold your crying baby for as long as you need to shower, even if they cry the whole time. And whether they cry or not, I will do my absolute best to maintain my peace, my warmth, my nurturing passion and put that into my expression toward and for your child. I will hold them gently and firmly, make reassuring sounds, tune in to them and try to do whatever seems to make THEM feel better. How about patting your head? Don't like it? I won't do it. 

I will be there for you Nika, to the best of my ability. And this means being here for you now and always. Being a capable human being to the best of my ability and maintaining my capability to the best of my ability. No matter what happens, I'll never 'let myself go' because I know, you ALWAYS need me. 

I don't know if I'll be there. But I'll do my best, and even if I can't be there physically, I'll do my best to be there in you. I'll do my best to give you the best of me, so you can be proud of what you've inherited, and love yourself, and be so full of love it will be a joy to pass it on to another being.





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