Day 39

I have to get through this. There is no other way. I have to get through this and I will. I see the future, I see the potential, I see what is possible. I fear that I am positively bullshitting myself. Like what if I tell myself it's going to be alright, and then it really isn't. And I will regret having fooled myself.

Unbelievable the lies. It's a shock to hear the lies they tell about you, about themselves. 

There isn't much time to change the visitation. The stress I am in every day is agonizing. There is no way she won't be traumatized if he takes her away overnight, let alone for more than a few hours. That's all she's done. To go from a up to 4 hours to up to 28 hours, it's insane. There's no way. Would he do it? And the travel time.. I wouldn't think he would want to do that, to have to travel with her for so long. I don't want her to learn at this early in life that you have no power, there are people who will take you and don't care what you want or what is best for you. 

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