Day 38

Who/How would I be/live do:

If custody wasn't an issue

If legal actions weren't an issue

If anxiety every other week wasn't an issue

If I feel he had no power to affect me or Nika

If I was sure he couldn't do anything to affect her custody

If I was sure he couldn't do anything to permanently damage her

If I was sure we could come through anything unscathed

If I was confident in my ability to support her and myself and see us both through anything

If I was sure she would never be a victim of sa

If I was sure we couldn't be harmed, that we can live as we like and not be punished or abused for it

What if all these things are true, what if they really aren't an issue

How would I live

What would or wouldn't I be concerned about

I wouldn't be so stressed, I wouldn't be so tired. If I could finally stop, focusing on all the court bs. I'd probably have less headaches. From the difficulty eating from the stress.

I would feel more chill all the time. Less pain flareups. More time and ability to hold Nika, to play with Nika.

Nika would benefit. She needs a healthy, chill, confident mom. 



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