Day 32

 Adrian Blackburn, you hate yourself so much that you hurt anyone who tries to love you. You have to destroy them.

I don't know what your reasons are, aside from you like or believe you like what you get from being abusive to others, and that's why you do that. You don't want to give it up. 

I dream of a day where we are free from you and free from your abuse. All I want is to LIVE. I want to be able to live and just ENJOY life, life life with JOY. I want the same for our daughter.

I don't want revenge, I don't want anything. Literally anything from you. Anything received from you was a trap. A lie. A manipulation. I dream of a day where I don't think of you or see you or hear of you or anything about you. I just want to MOVE ON.

But you won't let us go. You can't let go of your potential to abuse us. You won't stop yourself. You have done and are doing everything you can to make my life a nightmare. Someday I will tell everything, the truth will be seen and heard. The truth will be known about you. Your daughter is going to see you for who you are. She is smart and strong and sensitive like me. But not like me, she won't be groomed from birth to be a MAN PLEASER. She won't be gas-lit and manipulated by those closest to her with no one she can really trust or is emotionally present for her. 

She will have me no matter what. It doesn't matter what you do. If you managed to fool the courts and have her taken away, I will still be here, fighting for her, supporting her, doing whatever I can. She will be an adult someday, and have her own rights to make her own choices to not allow abusers in her life. The day will come whether it's tomorrow or 16 years from now. 

I doubt it will take that long. You can lie easily enough to people who don't know you and barely interact with you. That's easy enough. And that's why manipulation isn't a real skill. It's easy enough to lie to someone who doesn't know anything about the truth and has literally no way to find out. But you can't do it to those who are close to you. Only if they are uneducated an inexperienced enough. That's why men like you go for younger women. They don't have experience yet. They have no idea what they are walking into.

Nika will not be so neglected. She will be as aware as I can possibly support her to be. I am doing my best and everything I can do. For her, for myself, and for everyone. For a better world. Where no abuse is tolerated. Where we can all sleep at night knowing that every single human child is safe, fed, nurtured, nourished, empowered, and able to be the best version of themselves.


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